Every time I think about the things happening around me, which I have messed up, I feel bad and guilty as they were caused by me.
Now I do not think I have to feel like that any more because I have been thinking about it for four solid days where, once, I even tried to change back, but I have firmly decided not to do so anymore in the future.
It has always been like this. It is how it has to happen and it will happen. So be it.
Whenever I feel I ought to be understanding my friends and also behave in the way they expect out of me, and I assure you I will mess up, I have had enough of feeling bad and punishing myself in my own painful ways so that I change myself to the way everyone wants me to be. I have had enough of this.
For the last four days I have been crying in the night for the mistakes I have committed, not lived up to my friends' expectations and not following their views and values.
Well that is my capacity and ability and it is very tough for person to adjust with everyone around him that too, a person like me.
To be frank, all these emotions such as 'feeling bad' and getting upset about others transforms into anger and violence within me.
I had to shout at so many people including my family, just after returning from a excursion and I also did cut my skin just to pour out my harsh emotions..... on the whole i did not even enjoy the trip just because of someone whom I had to think about all day long and to see what else I had to do in order to make things all right.
This life sucks....... to the core and I have experienced it.
I agree to you all that this website is only to express positive emotions and thoughts but I just cannot help myself but to pour out these unnecessary, temporary, angry thoughts.
All these lead into pain and also, The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body.
Pain is 99% sadness and 1% wrath; the way I perceive it.
So we should see to that we do not hurt others mind's and also, if someone does that to us, learn to enjoy the pain .
"Remember that pain has this most excellent quality. If prolonged it cannot be severe, and if severe it cannot be prolonged." - Anonymous
About Me
- The Messed Up One
- I guess you all know me and if you do not, then you are welcome to comment on my posts and then I shall inform you on my identity. And please, if you think whatever I blog makes sense, then do take your time to comment upon my blog either through criticism or support. Advanced Thanks !!!!!
2 comments:
It is all right for your friends to misunderstand you. It is every friend's right.
Even if YOU have made the mistake, your friends will forgive you but there is a limit for everything.
when you feel you have crossed the limit, just open your heart out to them and confess everything.
I hope that would do the job.
You do not need to hurt yourself physically, that would do no good other than inflicting pain.
I can understand what you are undergoing now because even I ave gone through the same adolescence age.
But there is one wrong decision which you have made.
You have to make sure your friends understand you and also see to that they do not let you down at this time.
You must feel bad and guilty, in order to understand them because I am telling these from my past experiences.
I can understand the mental suffering which you are going through and the unbearable pain which you are trying to bear.
Just remember one thing,
the more hurt you become, the more experienced you are and the more you resist, you become mentally strong.
Also i liked the last quote of yours, it made me think fro some time.
I liked the other posts too, they do influence people in the positive way, if they care to read it.
You do not know me, I do not know you, but still we can share a common view here.
Wishing to remain anonymous.....
Well,
That was an emotional and appealing note on friends.
To tell the truth, your blog was really nice.
Keep up the good work.
But before all, you should know something. Bonding, attachments and relationships seem sweet but the pain undergone is often concealed.
More attached you are to human ties, more the trouble you undergo.
I don’t dent that friends play a major role in our lives. But we must make sure that such incidences do not affect us mentally.
Don’t hesitate to ask for a sorry.
If in case you haven’t made the mistake, ask yourself what to do.
But please don’t act foolishly by hurting yourself physically. It is time to talk out.
No use groaning and mourning inside four walls.
When you want others to hear you, come out and express your opinions.
Fend yourself. In the same time don’t forget to ask for their mercy.
But even then if they don’t get moved, really, you ought to just keep moving.
For, after all, life will go on. When every window closes, another one opens; it is your responsibility to search for that one.
Search for the light. Dispel the darkness around you. Take the torch of confidence along with you and walk towards reality.
There is a lot more to achieve and a long way to go.
Don’t wait. Move ahead. In the end, if you see….this is your life and it is you who has to take the initiative and keep moving because my friends no one will wait for you.
Am sorry if this message seemed ludicrous to you, but still my friend hope you understood the underlying truths within it.
Hope you have a splendid future.
All the best!
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